There’s a difference between just loosing someone you love, and loosing someone who is a major part of your support structure. The pandemic has made things even worse. November has dealt major blows to my self-esteem, especially as I find myself struggling for relevancy in the adult business.
Sherry’s loss has left me broken. The most important part of this is to acknowledge it. Friends feel odd that I don’t want to visit. When work goes well, it helps restore some confidence that parts of me are not only functional, but working and needed. The broken can be repaired, but others have to be aware it needs to be fixed and be patient.
I’m debating starting on holiday art. There’s so much that physically needs to be done here, but I am starting to draw bit by bit.