This post is not just a rant, but a good excuse to recap some Femdom art from the archives, like this portrait of Irene Boss…
So our cat is gnawing on my foot while I look at twitter and sip coffee this morning, and I notice someone has posted to Irene Boss‘ twitter feed that he’s looking for a 100% 24/7 relationship. She suggests he go to a munch, which is spot on for helping find that someone special, but it brought up a memory from far back that has serious relevance for those seeking this serious kind of relationship.
I’m sure many male subs think about this as an ideal 24/7 relationship.
His post included “I mean it,” which is great dude, right on, but why say it if you don’t mean it in the first place? I have a creed of Factum Non Lacuna, which means simply “actions, not words.”
Ah! the ideal dream state of the 24/7 subbie. Long, agonizing service being sodomized and whipped after scrubbing stone floors somewhere with a toothbrush.
I have yet to put a message out that I’m a biker that has no motorcycle, why would a sub advertise for 100% 24/7 service when they don’t have a Domme? Many would say that is fugue for “I want 24/7 pussy and for someone to take care of me,” but let’s go past that assumption to some of the most critical needs to fill in service.
Ok, aside from the most critical need of most male subs, which would be a diet of Dominatrix snatch 😉
After moving down to Los Angeles, and having a relationship detonate on me, I did feel the need for a 24/7 relationship of some form. I was broke, and living in a place where I had to duct tape the holes in the wall to stay warm in the winter. As one of thousands (if not over a million) artists in LA, my work was not in demand, so I was stuck working part time in a poorly run framing shop franchise.
Ahh, dreams of submission…
One day, the owner of a restaurant came in to pick up a framed movie poster, and I asked if he was hiring busboys (I was not good at waiting tables). He said sure, and suggested I think about it. It paid the same as the framing shop, and with more hours. I’d worked housekeeping in the San Francisco Bay Area for a couple of places, and could see where that skill would be of use.
You mean this isn’t what happens every day in a 24/7?
In short, there’s a lot more in common with service professions such as busboy, janitor, bellhop and 24/7 submissive relationships than people think. Makes it more understandable how boot blacking became a serious part of the leather scene, but that’s another story.
A little nod to Goddess Natasha, who works her ass off for her submissives. Be grateful you basta’ds!
In these jobs, you’re often on call or working when other people play or are asleep. I had to take commands and do as I was told from people I did not necessarily like, without back talk. Your job is to satisfy unattractive people much more powerful than you are, who could care less what your needs are. Having worked in a dungeon before prepared me for how gross being a busboy could be, but it’s worth mentioning that I had to do much dirtier things on a regular basis, such as clearing co-ed, alcohol saturated, vomit out of a bathroom sink with my bare hands during a big party.
I doubt Goddess Sadie’s ever had to command a slave to clear vomit out of a sink, thank heavens 🙂
Service jobs prepare us for what’s really required out of a 24/7 relationship. It imparts a shitload of modesty and grace. You may be called to serve a friend of your Mistress, bring yourself to a level of humiliation well outside of your comfort zone, and do some gross things you’ll regret for the rest of your life. You’ll be required to do this without resentment. It requires letting go of a lot of things, and learning to take some pride in who you are. Service jobs also fulfill needs to serve, be a part of something larger than ourselves and be useful, without having to take your clothes off.
Service jobs also teach us something about ourselves. I realized over time that full 24/7 wasn’t what I wanted, or needed. I needed to learn how to be independent. Working in service gave me the self-discipline I needed to realize I was not put on this earth for someone else to take care of me.
When you’re a submissive or slave, no matter how many toilets and floors you clean, you’re still someone else’s responsibility. That’s not always a good thing. Sherry and I are hardly a 24/7 D/s relationship, but what I do now has everything to do with getting things done and participate in the greater good. Much of that has roots in having worked in service jobs. So before you put out an ad looking for a 24/7 D/s relationship, get a service job, even if it’s at a fast food joint. It puts much into perspective and shows Dommes your commitment to service.
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