Fun Dressing Up At Tour De Fat Los Angeles
It’s September in Canoga Park. The leaves are falling, the birds are falling, the squirrels are falling. The grass is spontaneously combusting. We don’t have Indian summer here in porn valley, we have angry Apache summer here. It’s the kind of weather that makes you stop for a moment, think back, the forget all that shit, pack the car and run like hell to somewhere else.
Which is where the Tour De Fat Los Angeles comes in. I’ve been wanting to do a bike ride dressed up with a group for a couple of months now. Maija and Leticia were talking about it last week. Tour De Fat is where people dress up in outrageous outfits, go for a bike ride, then celebrate with Fat Tire Beer (and other New Belgium concoctions), free concerts and other entertainment. The event is just north of Chinatown, which normally would have just been a warm day.
Wednesday, I planned out my outfit. Opera gloves to hide my hairy arms and eliminate the need to do nails the night before. A bustier to keep in my gut, accent my top, pantyhose so I wouldn’t need to adjust stockings, wide heels so I wouldn’t fall and well, have a look at how it turned out.
Bike, $300, gloves $5, shoes $10. Riding in the parade dressed like a Domme, Fucking Priceless!!!
I’d been planning this for days. I accidentally stripped the axle on the bobber bike on Thursday. Thankfully, Maija helped me get the Dahon into shape last Sunday, and it worked out perfectly.
The plan was simple, get up this morning, dress, cover up in sweats. Go to the event location. Take off the sweats. Put on the heels and gloves, then ride in the parade. It didn’t work out quite that way. I forgot the belt and paddle. We made it there with minutes to spare and I barely had time to take off my sweats.
The rubber on the opera gloves had started to melt while still in my purse. I was stunned. Putting them on was like donning napalm. Once in motion the breezes and occasional shade cooled my arms enough. There was no time to put on my heels, that would have to wait until after the parade.
Riding in the bicycle parade was just fucking awesome! It truly was. We turned a lot of heads. One guy was riding on a Pee Wee Herman replica bike. There were kustom bikes, chopper bicycles, several bikes rigged for broadcasting music, tandem bikes. Our tour took us by the city jail, where we got plenty of applause. Along the way, we passed gentrified offices, coffee shops, and loads of LA architectural history.
Looking at the route, you’d think this would be way too long and tiring. Not true. As we made our turn back towards the park, it was obvious this parade was too short. The feeling is truly like freedom. For a brief moment, we had control of the lanes, passed through traffic signals with the blessing of LAPD, and made a final pass through the cool tunnel on the way to the park.
Once back at the park, I peeled off the opera gloves and began to pound down water. Usually, this event is held in October. This year, Tour De Fat just happened to be on one of the hottest days in LA. With the searing orb of death above us, what I had expected to be in the 90’s turned out to be 105 degrees.
The irony is, biking helps cool you down. Standing, or walking back and forth across the event, you have the heat bearing down. Riding generates a breeze across your skin.
I had hoped to meet up with Maija and Leticia, but it was not meant to be. Cell reception was awful and our timing just wasn’t quite right. I did get quite a few compliments, especially from women who were impressed how I dressed up for the event. Sherry got some quiet time reading in the shade, and I got some pictures to show just how obsessed this culture is about biking.
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I’m hoping next year to inspire more kinksters to ride along, but I’m also hoping they do this in October, when things cool down enough to justify riding in leathers.
Dungeon Net
Hogspy
