That Was So Last Saturday, Bikes and Adventure in Porn Valley

The hills of Chatsworth's Porn Valley

Last Saturday, Sherry needed me to run an errand or two, and I had been seriously jonesing to take a bicycle ride. So I took the Schwinn Continental up the new bike path that goes from Canoga Park up into Chatsworth, which should probably be known from this point on as the Porn Valley express. The path shoots straight up Canoga, past several defunct studios and former porn warehouses, right by Smash Pictures, and to the right you can see the offices where Fallen Angel resides, by AVN and Kbeech’s old offices.

Chatsworth Bike Path by the Orange Line

It was cold day for a Porn Valley summer. The temperature had dropped under 100 degrees. Still, the asphalt path radiates a massive amount of heat right at you, making that trip up the incline daunting. Landscaping and sprinklers are present, but it’s gonna be about a year or two before they grow into that picturesque pleasant suburban paradise. That is if the brutal valley summers don’t beat down the trees and shrubs first.

Once in Chatsworth, I picked up a check for Tony Batman and a fuckload of porn from our PO Box. Sorry, but if fuckload isn’t the best way to describe a multitude of pornography, it should be. I wondered if Kylie Ireland is still our neighbor at the mailbox place.

Private Moments Adult Boutique at Roscoe and Canoga

On the way back, curiosity got the best of me. The strip clubs Xposed and Wet Spot have been on Canoga and Roscoe since I moved into town over 10 years ago. I’ve always been curious about the place, but wisdom suggested I avoid the joints after someone was fatally stabbed while watching the girls a few years back. However, Private Moments, the adult boutique next door, is new. That place went in a couple years ago.

Private Moments Adult Boutique at Roscoe and Canoga

So, I had to check it out. I am still after all an industry person. This ain’t the old-fashioned porn shop. The boutique was glossy, clean, friendly and organized. There was even a lovely lady working the counter instead of the “Hey Buddy, I Just Work Here!” type personnel I’m used to meeting at adult stores. Most surprising was their DVD selection. Given the drop of DVD sales I keep hearing about, they had quite the library and even rentals.

The neighboring strip clubs may be a serious help to the business. They had a decent collection of novelties, and plenty of lubes and massage oils.

What really got my attention was that Private Moments is open until 2am. Try buying large quantities of lube after working a shoot, and you’ll understand why this is so awesome. Private Moments is definitely on our shopping list if we have to help with production again.

Fun on the new chopper style bike

Saturday evening, my friends Maija and Leticia came over. Maija knows I’ve been wanting ape hanger handlebars for a old mountain bike we’ve had in the garage. This used to be Sherry’s bike. Sherry had asked for an extra large seat and we did a few runs with it before Sherry’s knees just couldn’t take it anymore. I’ve wanted to convert it to a chopper-style bike. Maija and Leticia came over with handlebars and beer in tow. While Sherry cooked dinner, I started working on the bike over conversation.

Sherry, Jay and the chopper bike

This would probably be a good time to mention Astroglide lube as a great way to get grips off handlebars. The long tip on their anal shooter fits deep in between the grip and the bar. After one big squirt a good twist gets it off and helps you rub it out. Who knew working on a bicycle could be so kinky?

Jay, Maija and the bike

The handlebars are a hit. Leticia loved the look, calling it “old school,” “gangsta” and “OG.” It really has the feel of an old school chopper or bobber. Even though the brakes and gears are not hooked up, I took it for a test ride around the block a few times, and it was great. It’s a perfect fit. I can honestly say it feels like freedom.

Next up is attaching the brakes and a shifter. We’ve completely disconnected the front gear shift. Maija and I talked about a banana seat, but I’m really liking the style of the big, low bike seat. I’ve got an old school generator lamp. It needs work, but I think I can rig something. Mounting the lamp and taillights will be the tricky. I can’t wait to work on this bike some more.

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